On October 8, The US Sun’s sex columnist Georgie Culley reviewed LELO’s £259 Mona Spectra, a red-light vibrator the brand supplied, on a page that earns affiliate revenue. The headline calls it ‘anti-ageing’; the article text never does. The headline sells what the article will not say. ‘Anti-ageing’ appears in the headline and nowhere in the text. Inside, the claims about collagen, elastin and pelvic-floor tissue are credited to the brand, and the 18th paragraph says the toy “isn’t a medical device, and shouldn’t be used as such.” The headline keeps the promise and drops the hedge. A reader who stops at the headline leaves with a fix for ageing; a reader who reaches paragraph 18 leaves with a vibrator. The shame sits in the frame. ‘Mums like me’ turns a body after birth into something to repair, and ‘anti-ageing’ does the same to a body after menopause. Neither is called a flaw; both are sold a fix. The tell is a problem you had not been told you had, arriving in the same sentence as its cure. Behind the promise stand LELO’s unnamed survey and one writer, who says that after a few weeks of use she felt more relaxed and tighter. The money runs one way. The Sun earns when a reader clicks, LELO supplied the toy, and the writer calls herself a big fan of the brand. The disclosure says the opinions are independent, which may be true; the page earns either way. The same day, Bustle’s headline reached for faith, ‘Believer’, and PAPER fused ‘Beauty and Sex’. Three outlets, one product, and the word in each headline is about how you will feel, never what the light does.
